A little chocolate humor to brighten your day

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt.

A day without chocolate is a day without sunshine.

Life without chocolate is like a beach without water.

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

I am a serious chocoholic. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex.
If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind.
If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate!!!

Chocolate is the best when it melts so creamy and soft in your mouth and it slides down your throat.

Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.
Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.

How to Select the Best Dark Chocolate

Does that mean you need to know the difference between Godiva and Hershey's? Nope. Choosing the best chocolate means knowing what's in it. If you pay attention to the ingredients, you will be able to select the best chocolate almost every time.

Dark chocolate should have:

1) Cocoa liquor. Sometimes called cocoa mass, cocoa solids, cocoa, or chocolate. (It is not actually a liquor and does not contain any alcohol.)
2) Sugar. Cane juice, molasses, and other natural sweeteners are acceptable substitutes.
3) Cocoa butter.
4) Vanilla. (optional) Vanillin is a fake vanilla made from pine sap. Avoid it!
5) Soy lecithin. (optional) It's used to make the chocolate bind together better. It is sold as a health food supplement, though some argue that it is not healthy.
6) Any add-ins, such as nuts, fruits, or flavorings. Make sure none are artificial or hydrogenated.

How to Put Movies into Chocolate?

There is no doubt that Chocolate is such a popular item, you can find it everywhere and many major movies are about Chocolate or at least have some Chocolate touch. Some of the best films about Chocolate are:

Chocolat (2000)

This movie, starring Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp, tells the story of a woman who cannot settle down and travels the world with her six-year-old daughter. The woman, called Vianne Rocher, opens a chocolate shop every time she moves into a new city and the film starts when she arrives in a small conservative town in the South of France. This film is based on the homonyms book, Chocolat, written by Joanne Harris.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Starring Johnny Depp, this film is a remake of an old movie, called Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, made in 1971. Both books are based on the novel for children, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, written by British author Roald Dahl.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tells the story of a child from a poor family, who wins one of the golden tickets to visit the mythical Chocolate factory belonging to Willy Wonka.

Consuming passions (1988)

This film, titled ‘Cioccolato Bollente’ in Italian, was made in the UK and is a grotesque comedy about a young executive who tries to modernise a chocolate factory.

Like Water for Chocolate (1993)

This movie is based on a novel by the Mexican author Laura Esquivel. It tells the story of a strong passion between the youngest of three daughters of a widow in a remote ranch and Pedro. Pedro falls in love with the widow’s youngest daughter, Tita. However, Tita’s father wants to keep to the family tradition that the youngest daughter cannot marry until the oldest has. So, Pedro marries Tita’s oldest sister to remain close to Tita. Pedro and Tita keep having a highly sensual relationship, through the food that Tita prepares for Pedro. The expression ‘like water for chocolate’ (como agua para chocolate in Spanish) in Spanish speaking countries has a double meaning and it is a metaphor for describing a state of passion or sexual arousal.

Benefit of Dark chocolate

Dark chocolate contains a high concentration of stearic acid (a saturated fatty acid with a neutral effect on cholesterol), essential minerals including magnesium, copper, potassium, manganese, and most significant, flavonoids. The latter are phytochemical plant pigments that act as natural antioxidants, neutralizing free radicals that can damage body tissue and cells.

Dark chocolate actually contains more flavonoids per gram than any other food tested so far, including green tea, red wine, and blueberries. The good news doesn't stop there. The high percentage of cocoa in dark chocolate also gives it a low glycemic index, a ranking of carbohydrates according to their effect on our blood glucose levels. This means it produces only small fluctuations in blood glucose and insulin levels.

Chocolate Quotes

1. After a bar of chocolate one can forgive anybody, even one's relatives.

2. There are only three things in life that matter - good friends, good chocolate and, oh dear, what was that other one?

3. Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate.

4. Dip it in chocolate; it'll be fine.

5. The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate.